The Same Two Feet of Space (National Siblings Day 2018)

I always laughed last summer as I watched how my three kids approached others to play at the park.

“Hi,” one of my then three-year old twins would say, “What’s your name?”

The kid would respond with their name, before asking back, “What’s your name?”

Without missing a beat, the twin would respond with, “We’re Caden and Brooklyn and Nolan.”

Every time. They didn’t really take a break between the names, or make a distinction between the three of them. Just Caden-and-Brooklyn-and-Nolan like it was one word, all in the same breath.

I love that they think like that. That they have this bond together. Surely asking for one of their names is asking for all of their names, right? It would be simply unthinkable not to.

I’m used to having them all around me all the time. Having twins followed pretty quickly by a third, I had full arms right from the very start. Our house is rarely quiet as they run and chatter and fight and scream and sing. Usually at least one is underfoot while the other two are nearby. I’ve asked, “Why are we all occupying the same two-foot space when we live in a 2000-square foot house?” too many times to count, as I sit with one in my lap, another climbs up my back, and a third hovers an inch from my face.

Photo credit Prall Photography.

Read the rest over at the Twin Cities Moms Blog!

The Magic of Playdates

Playdates. Just the word can make you either cringe or cheer. I’m firmly in the camp of the latter. As a fairly social stay-at-home mom of three toddlers, having a playdate with other moms in the same stage of life is my salvation. Anything that forces us to get out of the house at a prearranged time, or requires me to clean up my own house for company helps break up the routine and add some structure to our days.

Sure, they can totally bomb. Your kids are in the wrong mood, you’re in the wrong mood, an unexpected diaper incident has you leaving as soon as you’ve arrived, or the group just doesn’t mesh that day. There have been several playdates where I’ve felt stuck on the sidelines the entire time, chasing after kids, nursing babies, changing diapers, doling out discipline, or sequestered by the snack table while everyone else plays outside (because my kids are somehow ravenously hungry despite having had both breakfast and a snack in the few hours they’ve been awake that morning).

But in the midst of it all, sometimes, magic happens. Whether it’s a one-on-one playdate with a good friend or a larger group of moms overrun with too many small children, there are times when it all just clicks. Big kids suddenly remember how to play by themselves, babies sleep in arms, coffee is sipped at its appropriate temperature, and you find yourself in community. The conversation can range from options for preschool to a sale at Carter’s to teething remedies to what’s for dinner tonight and where did you get those pants?
The conversation isn’t always deep - usually not, in fact, with all those little feet running around - but it is vital to getting through the rest of the day. (And deep or not, I’m always interested in what’s for dinner.) A good conversation can give you the boost you need to get through whatever naptime trials come your way, an afternoon that feels about two hours too long, and the routine chaos of dinner-baths-bedtime. None of us was made to do this all by ourselves. Staying home with small children can feel like its own form of prison, and talking to the Target clerk just doesn’t quite cut it as the only other adult interaction you have in a day.

Read more over at the Twin Cities Moms Blog!

An Ode to Mom Friends

It seems that I've heard it a million times now: motherhood is lonely.

It's true.  And I'm sure it's something that every mom - especially those of the stay-at-home variety - experience at some point (or many).

It occurred to me the other day that this is the first time in our lives that we are constantly surrounded by people who aren't like us. Growing up, we were always around kids in the same grade. If we didn't have friends in class, we quickly made them. Then came college. We moved away from home and were again surrounded by people of a similar age and life stage. More importantly, we were ALL seeking friends. After that we entered the work force, into a workplace with co-workers in a similar field, working toward similar goals, socializing and connecting with people on some level on a daily basis.

Then many of us became moms. Some of us became stay-at-home moms. And suddenly our days were filled by a person (or two or three...) who is much smaller than we are. And a LOT more needy and demanding. And they certainly aren't the most stimulating or intellectual of companions, either. Now our days are occupied by little people who can't string together full sentences, and whose idea of a good time is a Daniel Tiger marathon surrounded by dinosaur figures and goldfish crackers.

Enter: mom friends.

We meet in playgroups, story times, coffee shops, and playgrounds.  We have at least one thing in common: little shadows that follow us around and demand to be taken care of.  We might not meet every day, or even every week, but those playdates are ALWAYS a bright spot on our calendars.  Though we often spend more time chasing after own our kids than having conversations with each other.  It's still more adult conversation than we would ever get in otherwise.

So, here's to you, mom friends.

Thank you for showing me how to love my own kids better. Your patience and delight in your children makes me fall more in love with mine. You remind me how to be calm and loving, to take breaks to watch these little minds and bodies in action. A couple of weeks ago I met some moms for coffee (minus kids, so, y'know, we were living the life) and one mom of three, with another on the way, absolutely RADIATED when she talked about her children. Even while admitting that, yeah, they could be jerks sometimes. And even though things were often hard. But you could tell just how much she loved those little monsters, and THRIVED in the chaos. Thank you, for reminding me to take joy in my own chaos.  (And, believe me, it is PLENTIFUL.) Thank you for showing up for coffee. Sometimes all we need is an hour or two to chat and gripe about our own kids before going back to the grind. A few friends and some caffeine readying us to love them fiercer, and better.  

Not that you're always perfect, mom friends.  THANK YOU EVEN MORE FOR THAT.  If you were, it would put my own failures to greater shame.  I see you lose your patience when the two-year old asks you something for the 97th time, and I think OH THANK GOD IT'S NOT JUST ME.  I see you in the store, with the crying infant or tantruming toddler (or worse: both), just trying to get to the check-out lane, and want to catch your eye all, solidarity, mama. I usually don't get the chance since, y'know, I have my own three kids with me, SO LET'S MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!!!  But believe me, the intention is there.  I may also be busy sending a silent prayer up to heaven, thankful that right now, it's not me.

I live near some of you, and far from others, but know that I love seeing the photos you all post. I realize that life isn't always like that perfect little moment you just captured with your daughter in the sunshine or your son all snuggled up with his lovies, but I appreciate that you took the time for a photo and a quick share. Because that moment? It WAS perfect, and it mattered. I love watching your children play and discover and grow almost as much as I enjoy watching my own.  And thank you for not always editing out the laundry in the background, the toys strewn across the floor, the remnants of breakfast still on their cheeks. A good photo crop can cover a multitude of kid crap (#beentheredonethat), but I appreciate knowing that, actually, your house looks just like mine right now.

Which would be like this...

Most of all, mom friends, thank you for making things a little less lonely. I hope those little monsters give you the Mother's Day you all deserve, i.e. a full night of sleep, breakfast in bed (at about 9 am) that includes some strong coffee, a mani/pedi/massage, at least five minutes where no one says "mommy, mommy, MOMMY!", drinks out with your friends, and, most importantly, a perfect and seamless bedtime routine. Hey, a mama can dream.

Post Weekend

It's been approximately forever since I've taken enough (or any) photos over a weekend that was somewhat worthwhile to write about.

Since about the time I started feeling all bleh from being pregnant in fact.  Like that's a coincidence.

So.  Last weekend before daddy leaves to work out-of-town be like:

Hanging with friends (both big and small), who just so happen to have an awesome piano. I'll leave to your imagination the sound that filled the house with these three virtuosos at the keys.  (I think "cacophony" would be a polite word for it.)

Also, you can tell that the wonderful friends whose house we took over don't have kids yet, because they had time to make adorable snacks like this:

(Fan of the grapes.)

(Fan of using her finger to lick up the peanut butter from the graham cracker.)

We also be like:

Last chance to use daddy as a trampoline.  At least until next weekend.

And, most importantly:

 

Family run (in jammies...at least the little ones) for ice cream.

(If you're local, this is our favorite ice cream in town.  Super creamy, the Sequoya location has kid-friendly tables and a play area, and the S'mores flavor is on point, yo.)

The next day we had to say the first of many weekly good-byes to come.

Of course, the best picture I could get of this be like:

I missed a golden photo opportunity (all three looking, smiling, everyone's head in view) by about .578 seconds.  As usual.

We calmed ourselves with a walk after waving a tearful bye-bye as daddy pulled away.

Don't sit too close to each other, guys.  You might confuse someone into thinking that you like each other.

(Got any black speckled rocks?  Go fish.)

One day down, four to go.

Can't wait until next weekend, daddy!

Christmas (Continued), New Years, and Onward!

When we last left our intrepid explorers, they were wreaking havoc on Christmas presents far and wide...

Then...

Grandma and Grandpa (No. 2) arrived!  Which also meant more presents.

Mommy and Daddy got the present of going to a hockey game.  

It was an amazing game, right up until the end.  Which is when we lost.  In overtime.  Boo.  It was also Grandpa's first official NHL hockey game, and it was so exciting I think we just might have converted him to be a hockey fan...

The adventures continued the next day as Grandpa did a small bit of electrical work for Papa and Nana.

Caden helped.

ZOMG!  They don't usually let me touch these things!

Wut?

Ok, so he's a pretty cute little electrician.  (Also: three generations holding onto the same electrical cord.  There's some sort of symbolism somewhere in here, I'm just not sure what it is...)

Brooklyn of course inspected everything to make sure it was up to her standards.

She also snuggled with her twin baby dolls (thanks, Santa!), which = adorable.

Then there was the time that she took an ornament off the tree...

...and kept trying to figure out how to get it back on.

Also adorable.

And then, on New Years Day, it was back to Madison.

As you can see, it was a super comfortable ride for all involved.  Go go gadget Prius!

Caden celebrated the new year by getting his first ear infection (antibiotics and Tylenol FTW!).

They both celebrated the new year by teething (yay more Tylenol and these teething tablets!).

Mommy and daddy celebrated the new year by wishing for some sleep.  Though we did happen to be asleep at midnight on New Year's Eve.  Until the neighbor's set off some fireworks.

The end.