20 Weeks

20 weeks (and 6 days), and it's still hard to believe that we are going to have two babies. My belly is expanding, my back hurts more, and I'm still in bed by about 9:00 every night, yet I can forget I'm even pregnant sometimes. Although A and B don't seem to have any problem giving my belly some not-so-gentle reminder kicks every so often (like whoever is kicking me in the belly button right now...you could totally stop doing that).  I can feel their kicks getting stronger (not like two weeks ago when "was that a baby...or just my stomach?" was the norm). Tyson can even feel them, and sometimes they're so strong they startle me.

I thought that maybe getting to see them again last week would make it more believable. While it was fun, and they were moving around like crazy, it's still weird to think that there are TWO LITTLE PEOPLE INSIDE OF ME.

A is the stubborn one (I'm convinced it's a feisty little girl, Tyson thinks it's a boy), and while he/she was moving around like crazy, they just wouldn't turn around so we could get a good angle to see his/her face.  He/she really liked showing off their spine though...

B was much more photogenic, and started with this feet-above-the-head maneuver just to show off after how stubborn A was being. Then he/she decided to go for the ultimate in cuteness and start sucking his/her thumb.

Tyson and I think they're pretty darn cute.  

Team Green

When someone asks me if we are finding out the sex of our babies, and I say no, I've found I get one of two reactions.

1. "Good for you guys! That's so exciting!"

2. "Seriously? You're not going to find out until they're born? Wow better you than me!"

(Note: #1 is the only appropriate reaction.)

In fact, finding out the sex before birth has become so prevalent that usually I'm not even asked if we are finding out the sex or not. Instead, the question is, "So when are you finding out the sex of the babies?". My response, "When they're born" then incites reaction #2 from above. And then some...

Never mind that finding out the sex of a child before they're born has only been technologically possible for a small amount of time, and really only become "the norm" in the past decade or so. Forget that for, oh, basically all of human history, people (*gasp*) didn't find out what their children "were" until they popped on out of mom. Nope, despite the past thousands upon thousands of years, all of a sudden I'm the strange one for waiting, and wanting to wait, to find out. And really, it's not like we have a lot of options here. I'm not going to pop out an elephant; I can guarantee they’ll be one of two things.

What gets me even more is when people with reaction #2 start wailing, wondering how on EARTH will I be able to make any decisions or purchases not knowing if they are boys or girls. Some even turn this around and start talking about how this will affect them, and how will they know what to buy for a shower gift? Because, of course, I only made this decision to inconvenience them. It kills me even more when I get this question from people who are around my parents’ age, who (in all likelihood) had children without knowing the sex. So to them and the apparently paramount questions, "But how will you know what to buy?" I want to say, "Well what on earth did you do?"

Related to the above, I also get asked how in the heck am I going to know how to decorate their nursery. First of all, as someone who does interior design for a living, I take offense to that. Second, this implies that I can only decorate in pink and/or blue. Because there are no other colors in the world. Seriously, do you know how many other colors there are? Even if we did know the sexes, I would probably STILL not decorate in pink and/or blue (*gasp again*), because everybody does.

Now I don't really mind when people DO find out what the sex of their baby is. I'm not trying to imply that waiting to find out is superior or anything like that. And I don't mind people decorating in pink for their baby girls or blue for their baby boys. Hell, pink is my favorite color, and if we have a girl (or two!), they will have their fair share of pink things. But I DO mind when people imply that not finding out the sex of our babies is crazy and that we can't make any decisions whatsoever without finding out. As if everything hinges on the fact that they are boys or girls. We don't really care if they are boys or girls (although secretly we are hoping for one of each). We can't wait to meet them the day they are born, and it's exciting for us not to know until then just who they are.